I have to blame a good friend who, in 1996 gave me a cassette tape called Collective Soul and told me to listen to track #3 first. The track, The World I Know, touched me very deeply and I just couldn’t stop playing it over, and over, and over. Maybe it was the melody at first, but Ed Roland’s lyrics expressed everything I was feeling at that moment in time. All that I know was that I couldn’t get enough of that song or that album. I didn’t know it at the time, but my love of and respect for Collective Soul had begun. Some would call it my obsession; no more, no less.
In between 1996 and 1998 I would go through the most difficult times in my life. I walked away from a 26 year marriage, moved from British Columbia to Ontario away from my children, suffered debilitating depression and even contemplated suicide. During this time, my beloved Grampa, whose love lifted me from being an unhappy child when I was with him, would die. I was devastated, as this man (along with my Gramma) had practically raised me. That week, I heard another Collective Soul song and although it made me burst into tears, it also made me smile as I said "goodnight good guy" to him. I had that song played at his memorial service. Again, Ed wrote a song that touched my heart at a moment in time when I truly needed it.
In 1998 I would find out I was to become a Gramma. I just had to move back to British Columbia, so I packed up my belongings and returned home and had a reunion with my sons. What a beautiful world it was July 8, 1998 when my grandson was born. I knew the minute I saw him my life was about to turn around, for the better. This little person gave me a reason to live. I simply adored him. I decided to go to counseling and deal with all my lingering issues and the depression. One of the first things I had to learn was to let go of all the heavy issues in my past – a neglectful, abusive mother, an alcoholic and abusive husband, a failed marriage were the major ones. I was learning all about forgiveness and while visiting a friend he played this cd called Discipline Breakdown and on it was a song called Forgiveness. I just can’t figure out how Ed knows to write these songs to me every time I need to hear his words. I swear he has a direct link to my heart. At counseling I participated in group therapy and would meet the person who would become my best friend while in this group. She too loved Collective Soul music and it seemed that every time we went out somewhere together, we would hear songs from Dosage. Of course, we both would run out and buy the album, and we had many discussions about the lyrics and the songs. We laughed that it had a song we both skipped over every time (Dandy Life) because it just wasn’t Ed!! We even planned a girl’s night around an episode of Beverly Hills 90210 because Collective Soul was “playing at the Peach Pit” and we’d get to see them perform two of our favorite songs from Dosage.
When Blender was released, a local newspaper here in Vancouver had a contest. 1st Place was the entire music collection, going to sound check, a meet and greet and front row tickets to Collective Soul. 2nd Place was tickets to the show and a copy of the album. We entered over and over again never expecting we’d win, but my girlfriend took the 1st place crown, and I managed to get 2nd place. When that phone came telling me we’d won, all I could do was scream with excitement. We were going to get to meet our favorite band!
So on October 22, 2002 we first went to sound check, listening to Ed sing Smashing Young Man. I was mesmerized listening to and watching him sing. And then it was time to meet them! We were so nervous we couldn’t breathe and our skin was all tingling. What do you say to the members of your favorite rock band when you meet them for the very first time? But they were so nice, so gracious and very friendly. Will Turpin was joking around with us and making faces while the pictures were being taken. Dean Roland seemed rather shy but we chatted about us both being left-handed and learning to do things in a right-handed world.
We then took our seats and experienced our first live Collective Soul concert. Ed was full of energy and had the crowd in the palm of his hand. He sang Blame (it’s the only time I’ve seen that song live) and I can still remember him with his head down, his hair in his face as he strummed his guitar. It was beautiful. And Dean in those tight leather pants and almost see-through tshirt made my knees weak and had all the girls swooning. And then Ed told the crowd he was going to play “an old spiritual” and we should sing along, and he started singing Shine. That song was the end of our perfect day. (At the time I had no idea I would develop a love/hate relationship with that song. I loved hearing it, singing along to it, and watching Ed throw his guitar to one of the techs before he jumped into the air, but I hated that to hear it meant the end of their show!)
And then they were gone! The band took a hiatus from the record/touring scene for a couple of years. I spent time at collectivesoul.com message board, purchasing memorabilia through Ebay, buying Jezebel magazines featuring any of the guys, and/or articles about what they're
doing and visiting myspace.com/collectivesoul so I could at least stay connected in some simple way, even when friends told me I was just wasting time on a band that wasn’t coming back! I remember venting about that on the message board and being told I don't need anymore friends like that! Such loyal fans this band has, and I found many new friends because of them. Dean and Will would occasionally make postings and even answer questions on the message board, which was great fun and had all the fans buzzing wondering if it really was them. After all, what rock stars ever really chatted with their fans online?
And they're back! There’s a new album. I’m counting the days until they announce a tour. This album sounds so upbeat, full of life and youthful. And once again Ed was in my head because he wrote me another song. It would become my theme song and reflects how I see my life...so much better now. I just know that if I’d been available, they would have asked me to drive the car and play air-drums for the video because I can’t listen to that song without doing it every time. My granddaughter has heard this album so many times that she knows the order of the songs. She wasn’t even old enough to be able to say Collective Soul. So she calls them “The Soul Guys”, and she tells me she needs to meet and have her picture taken with them just like Gramma does. (I guess I’ve created another Collective Soul groupie, at the age of 6! Dean has promised me she'll meet at least him the next time they come to Vancouver and she is so excited)
And they're back! There’s a new album. I’m counting the days until they announce a tour. This album sounds so upbeat, full of life and youthful. And once again Ed was in my head because he wrote me another song. It would become my theme song and reflects how I see my life...so much better now. I just know that if I’d been available, they would have asked me to drive the car and play air-drums for the video because I can’t listen to that song without doing it every time. My granddaughter has heard this album so many times that she knows the order of the songs. She wasn’t even old enough to be able to say Collective Soul. So she calls them “The Soul Guys”, and she tells me she needs to meet and have her picture taken with them just like Gramma does. (I guess I’ve created another Collective Soul groupie, at the age of 6! Dean has promised me she'll meet at least him the next time they come to Vancouver and she is so excited)
I was able to take a couple of trips to Los Angeles to see them at the Roxy Theatre, and to perform twice on Jay Leno thanks to friends I met through The Collective Souls fan club who live in Hollywood.
It was also during this time that Hurricane Katrina devastated Louisiana and I wanted to do something to help. I was discussing this with my friend in California and she said she’d been involved in a Katrina auction in Hawaii with Collective Soul that did very well. So I contacted their tour manager and made arrangements to have some items I would buy myself autographed by the band to sell later on Ebay. The auction raised $3000 for the Hurricane Katrina Survivors fund. I felt such happiness from giving even this small amount to those that were devastated by Katrina, and to do it with the help of my favorite band was very special.
It was also during this time that Hurricane Katrina devastated Louisiana and I wanted to do something to help. I was discussing this with my friend in California and she said she’d been involved in a Katrina auction in Hawaii with Collective Soul that did very well. So I contacted their tour manager and made arrangements to have some items I would buy myself autographed by the band to sell later on Ebay. The auction raised $3000 for the Hurricane Katrina Survivors fund. I felt such happiness from giving even this small amount to those that were devastated by Katrina, and to do it with the help of my favorite band was very special.
Sometime in 2007 I hear this little ditty on the radio called Hollywood that immediately makes me smile and want to sing along to no matter what. It just has a new vibration for the band with its upbeat, summer-time, feel-good melody. And I like it. But I can’t buy the album because it’s being distributed exclusively with Target, and they’re not in Canada. I could order it through the fan club, but delivery to Canada is just too slow. I’m not waiting, so on the day the album was released I took the day off work and drove to Bellingham, WA to the Target store, arriving at 9:00am to make sure I got my copy of Afterwords the very minute I could. I could now boast to everyone that I got the album on release day. I picked up copies for all my friends who didn’t want to wait to play it either. And play it we did, rarely taking it out of our cars!
In March 2009 while talking with Dean at the River Rock Casino after their show, he says to “follow us on Twitter”. He even posts it on Facebook. I don’t have a clue what Twitter is, but Dean says follow us so of course I do. And to my utter amazement, Collective Soul followed me back! Once I learned how, I was able to have “tweetversations” with Dean!! How cool is that? They posted exclusives, like pictures while recording, snippets of the new songs they were working on for their 9th studio album (I can’t wait to hear the new song that I know Ed has written for me on this new album), and candid personal twitpics of themselves.
Twitter is helping them generate a new fan base through this social media network, while at the same time keeping their tried and true fans by interacting about their music and themselves. I swear Dean must have a very crowded head getting tweets from the nearly 17,000 followers they have. They even announced their upcoming tour with Gavin DeGraw, and the album photo to their Twitter followers first!
Can you imagine my disappointment to not see any shows listed for the Pacific Northwest? What a shame because we love them out here just as much as they do in the East! Dean tells me to be patient, so I’m trying to be. But just in case, I have persuaded my two best friends and my sister to take a trip to Las Vegas to see The Guys on September 11/09 at the Hard Rock Poolside, outdoors, under heaven's sky. We have a meet and greet too of course.
I can’t wait for the hugs and kisses they always give me, and to compliment them on their new album, Rabbit. We’ll be seeing them live again, hopefully in the front row with Dean occasionally staring down and flashing that wonderful smile of his at us. We already know we’re going to dig the new songs we’re sure to hear.
It’s now more than 10 years later from me hearing that first Collective Soul song on a cassette tape, and their music has been with me the entire time. Just like me, the band has gone through some changes during these years, with Joel replacing Ross at lead guitar, Cheney replacing Ryan who replaced Shane on drums. What hasn’t changed is their appreciation for their fans, their fantastic live performances and Ed’s ability to take events from his life and turn them into songs that reach us.
Oh, and my mantra that where there’s a will, there's a way to get to a Collective Soul concert whenever humanly possible and to bring at least one newbie to the show to stand Dean-side at the stage with me so the SOUL can get into their soul too.
